Being an entrepreneur sounds ever so exciting and cool. The top Entrepreneurs in the world and the leaders all say that it ain’t easy, that you must take the steps to the top not the escalator and other words of wisdom.
Success comes in many forms. For me it means a content and happy family, a nice cosy home with heat and food and to earn the money to have the food and warmth part of success means having to go out and work for it. I was a stay at home Mum before. I am useless at cooking and not so great at the whole housework thing. I wasn’t happy. A happy Mum means happy children. So there was a bit of frustration creeping in for me as I knew there was something else I could be doing. I was capable of getting things done and I wanted to make something of myself. Yes I know being a Mum is a wonderful gift and I know there are thousands of Women out there who yearn to be a Mother. But for me, I felt discontented. I could see that I wasn’t going to be able to give my children a chance to go to college on the carer’s allowance which I was on (my 7 year old is hearing impaired with a severe language delay and my 14 year old is diabetic type 1 so they would already have challenges ahead. It frustrated me that there was a long waiting list for speech therapy for Abi. And if I wanted to speed things up going privately was going to cost money I hadn’t got.
So off I went and entered the business world. I worked really hard and re trained so that I could teach Twitter workshops to people who were unsure of how to use it correctly. I found that I enjoyed teaching and sharing my knowledge and loved helping others out. I could see places where I could make a difference. So the work started rolling in.
This time when my teen asked me for money for a school outing or for new essentials I didn’t have to root in the pennies jar, I had a fiver in my purse for the first time in ages. I was able to start paying off debts also.
This made me feel good. I was also getting out and making new friends. I was able to buy myself a new dress. I was able to buy myself proper make up and take care of my skin and hair so this also made me feel nice and gave me more confidence. And no, it’s not all about money. I only want to make enough to keep things less of a constant struggle which is what it was like before.
But at what cost? Today is my birthday and I am feeling like the loneliest Mum in the world. My Daughter told me last night that she just wants a normal Mum who cleans the house and isn’t on a computer or answering a phone or going away to teach workshops. I am sitting here confused.
The reason I was working so hard was because I had a goal of writing a book and am learning how to do webinars so that I can teach workshops online so that people don’t have to physically leave their homes to learn. This also means that I can teach online and earn from those workshops in the future so I get the balance of being at home and also doing what I love. I am so close to this now. And yet today I am confused and sad and feeling like I should just give it all up to nurture the relationship with my family.
Entrepreneurs need a huge support system in the home. We need you to have faith in us that we know what we are doing. We need a back up system to be there and understand that this won’t all be in vain. That We are doing this for you, our families.
We haven’t had a holiday abroad in the sun ever. I was kinda hoping that this year we would be able to do that. But now I am wondering is it worth it. What is the perfect balance? How do you get that balance? I thought I was working towards the perfect balance in what I was doing. This is why I set up the Irishbizparty movement. So we could all support and talk about these things. I already spoke to a couple of people in the group about this. I am sure I am not the only one who has come across these issues. So please do feel free to comment.
Thanks for reading. Hope it helps one other Entrepreneur to see that they are not the only ones who struggle with this.